joy

Lev loved to have butterflies on his finger.
It was funny. He could be such an angry, grumpy person and then so gentle and happy.
He would stand there, so still, with a bug or butterfly on him, just watching it.

When in nature, he thrived. Always slowing our hikes, by bushwhacking off trail, making cuts through the switchbacks that I complained caused erosion. He loved to climb to the top of any little hill, stretch his arms out wide, conquering the world.

Lev was very thoughtful, pensive.

In Costa Rica he loved to go out into the woods around our house with his machete, creating destruction, opening new worlds to himself. For his eighth birthday he wanted a machete. It was what all the other kids had already. He wanted another one last year, and on our last visit to Costa Rica we got him one with a leather pouch and a sharpener to go with it in its own little leather pouch. He would go out and cut our high grass and then come back and sit on the porch and sharpen it, very meditative. He liked sharpening knives. We sometimes traded doing dishes for sharpening our kitchen knives. He was so proud of himself if he got it really sharp.

The year we lived in Seattle, his connection with nature was stifled, and he didn't like it much. The first day when we went to school, and saw that the playground was just blacktop, with no grass, I cried but Lev learned to play four square with a vengeance. We would often walk over after school and play together. He adapted quickly to his new city life but still wanted to move to somewhere rural. Here in Sedro-Woolley, he liked using his bow and arrow in our back yard, and eventually talked me into letting him have airsoft guns.

He thought the airsoft guns would change his life, every day would be full of adventure. He was like that with new purchases, happier than anyone I'd ever seen. So full of joy. Then, no matter what it was, a few days later, he was a bit disappointed that it did not keep the joy of the newness. In June he told me that the best thing about buying something new was waiting for the delivery. He loved knowing that something was coming off the UPS truck. Every day had the anticipation, he said. I thought his level of self awareness was impressive even then and I wasn't sure what to do with that knowledge. He knew that soon after the purchase he wouldn't be impressed with the item any more. But, it was worth it for the high of choosing, ordering, waiting, and opening.

Rebecca

lev and horses

Lev was always good for horses. One day, when he was seven he went to his friends house, near the Cascada on his bike. An hour or so later, he comes back on this big white horse. He hadn't ridden a horse in a long time, but he had total confidence. He had already stopped by John and Jeana's house and was just trotting around the neighborhood. He had traded his bike for a horse. We told him that was fine for the afternoon but he had to trade back before dark. He was fine with that, and both boys thought they got a great deal out of the trade.

The confidence he showed on the horse was the confidence he had in most of his life, whether he was actually good at it or not seemed to have no bearing on his self perception. He loved himself and his life.

This is a picture from the Honors English field trip in 8th grade. Lev was the only one of us who would sit on the statues lap. English was how we first met. We actually first started talking because of a flashcard. The word was Odorous, so I drew a picture of a guy that had little green stink lines coming off of him. Mr. Doorman promptly picked it up and said "Melissa it wasn't very nice of you to draw a picture of Lev"

December 2010

Rebecca

Poem from Jaal on his second day at Evergreen

> The poem i wrote in the woods:
>
>
> Life is whatever you want it to be. It can be a jail with concrete walls the silouettes of which block out the very sun. Life can be a book with no cover, no text, ready to be filled with whatever is thrown in it. Life can be a garden, a playground, beautiful, amazing in its wonder. Somehow, in the midst of all this, life can be hell.
>
>
> Jaal

Letter from Monte, friend of the family and Lev's "godfather" for his memorial

I don't want to write a title. I don't want to write anything. I would like this writing to run in the other direction.

 

Clarity is hard to find. It's where children, and very few adults live. There are too many details; there's too much begging for attention.

 

I'm easily confused, but Lev was clear to me from the start in the exact same way my wife, Laura, was clear to me from the start. With Lev it was simple: we loved and appreciated stories.

 

We traded stories, and we admitted each other into those stories. Basically, we let each other be sub-heroes in our own stories where we were the real heroes.

 

 

Sadly, I don't meet my own criteria for hero.

 

Lev was my hero. In my own stories, I followed Lev.

 

 

Going through memories now in the middle of night, every image is both blessedand fraught with clarity.   I have the urge to wet my thumb and wipe some ice cream from your cheek - to pick some tree bark out of your hair.  

 

Every detail is sharp.  I can almost touch your hand. That's all I really want right now. I want to take your hand, and I want to hug you one last time.

 

Lev was my hero, and my story is not finished.

 

 

 

Monte

 

.

Rebecca

Lev's apology to his class in fourth grade

>
> __
>
> Written from the bottom of my heart.
>
> I am sorry for hitting and other violent actions. I didn't mean to use swear words either. But I did use these bad movements and words and there is nothing we can do about that now but we may make preparations that hopefully will work.
>
> I really tried to control myself but myself is like this a large evil chunk small decent chunk. So the evil chunk takes over. Sometimes hardly at all but sometimes the decent chunk beats the big evil one to bits.
>
> When the good one wins everybody agrees that there is a much happier ending to the tale in that case.
>
> I hope that the decent chunk always wins for everyone's sake not just mine.
>
> I will try to ensure victory to the decent part but that no one can help with but me so if anyone wants to help they can do that by not annoying me in any way even jokingly. But I can't blame it all on you since I really am the most to blame for not controlling my temper.

Letter from a friend

Dear Lev,

You are one of a kind, truly in a class of your own.   I only knew you for a short period of time, but I have many fond memories of you, most of which make me laugh out loud when I think of them.  I remember the first time I met you in Monteverde in the summer of 2003, just days before your 8th birthday.  I did not know what to make of you during those few days before school started, as you ran around like a mad man one second and then moments later recited some random, fascinating fact that you had learned from one of the hundreds of books that you had read.  I knew right away that you were different, but I soon discovered that you were actually awesome.  

Fast forward a few months.  You, Jaal, and I are riding in the back seat of the brown Trooper, on our way down the mountain to the beach.  We are playing with one of those 20 questions balls, trying to stump the computerized brain.  We are in total disbelief when it correctly guesses that we are thinking of a sloth.  We get in some good laughs, but before long, you abruptly and matter-of-factly announce that we must pull over so that you can vomit on the side of the road.  I feel bad that you are carsick, but I am secretly very relieved that you don't barf on me.  I am not so lucky on the next trip to the beach, sitting next to you once again in a crowded van.  It comes out of nowhere, unannounced, and it is epic. Strangely, I find you more endearing after this gross episode.

 

Here are some other hilarious things I remember about you:

--The time you designed and posted flyers about "stick fighting" lessons—Haaaaaa!!  I still remember your drawing.  You took it so seriously.  That was brilliant.

 

--The fact that you were responsible for dubbing your dog "Snowy Snowfoot"—amazing.  

 

--The time you and I got into an argument over the correct spelling of the word "awesome."  Even after I pulled out a dictionary, you were still incredulous.  I admired your conviction, even after being proven wrong.  It was so quintessentially "Lev" of you.  

 

--The time I came to visit your family in Sedro Woolley in September of '08, and the first thing I saw when driving up the road to your home was you on the side of the road, dressed in a full armor of foam, apparently having just engaged in combat of some kind.  

 

My favorite memory of you was from that same visit to your hometown.  Rebecca, Tony, Jaal, you, and I piled into the car and took a drive to a beautiful recreational area with a pebbly beach and a gorgeous view of the surrounding mountains.  We sat by the water's edge in the late afternoon sun and reminisced about our days in Costa Rica.  You had matured so much in just a few years, and I remember thinking that you were still as unique and funny as when you were younger.  I will miss you, Lev, but I will continue to laugh when I think about all of the amazing things that made you you.

Jennifer Turner (Muscia)

Rebecca

A Year in Text Messages

A Year in Text Messages

A few weeks ago I was thinking about the lack of a future for Lev, the fact that there will be no more photos, no more food eaten, no more shoes worn, and no more text messages. Just to torture myself I went to my phone to see my last text with Lev. Then I noticed that it said on the top of the screen, "load more messages". I kept going back and back until the day that I got my phone last August. The messages brought back a lot of memories and told of the passage of a year. I understand why the calendar makes me anxious and why Tony was taken aback by the changing of the leaves. Time passing into our new, sad and uncertain future and with these messages I look back.

Jaal downloaded an app for me to take the messages off the phone and they are below. The Out are from me to him and the In are from him to me.

As you can see by the series of OUTs it began with, I was concerned about him that first day of August. I don't remember where he was, but I think he was with Zay in New Hampshire.
7 OUT 2009-08-01 13:21:54 Did you get in ok?
9 OUT 2009-08-01 15:34:30 How are you
11 OUT 2009-08-01 15:39:43 How are you
13 OUT 2009-08-01 15:45:18 How are you?
16 OUT 2009-08-01 16:49:19 Hey

18 OUT 2009-08-02 12:28:06 We are going floating down the skagit**You did not answer so I assume you are having fun. **We will be back at about 4**Love**Mom

then, we didn't text much until school started, when Lev had his phone on him every day.

93 OUT 2009-08-26 16:06:10 Where are u I'm still at school

96 IN 2009-08-27 12:03:45 Why are you slow?
97 OUT 2009-08-27 13:02:13 Where r u

99 OUT 2009-09-01 09:53:34 I will not be there until noon. Tell Melissa to come later.
100 IN 2009-09-01 09:54:10 Ok fine!
101 OUT 2009-09-01 10:26:58 **How about I let u know when my mtg about the strike ends
102 IN 2009-09-01 10:27:23 Ok fine!
Lev's girlfriend, Melissa, was coming over and I think I didn't
want them in the house alone for too long. Tony and Jaal were elsewhere.

123 OUT 2009-09-04 21:54:33 How are you. We willl be back in around an hour. You would have liked the band.
124 IN 2009-09-04 21:55:44 Im at john and jeana's! Cool!
135 IN 2009-09-05 18:01:34 Hey! Wher are you?
Bumbershoot Labor Day 2009, when Massy played.

165 OUT 2009-09-18 21:24:14 Come to the drink stand
166 IN 2009-09-18 21:24:42 I walking home!
167 OUT 2009-09-18 21:27:00 By yourself?
169 IN 2009-09-18 21:27:28 With friends!
168 OUT 2009-09-18 21:27:29 Come meet me
174 OUT 2009-09-18 22:12:46 I am behind u

176 IN 2009-09-19 10:32:23 Im gonna be chilling on reed! Don't pick me up at riverfront!
177 OUT 2009-09-19 10:49:19 Do u have a preference for kayaking at deception pass or The music festival
179 IN 2009-09-19 10:49:53 Music fest.

192 OUT 2009-09-30 21:15:18 Checking in. All ok?
197 OUT 2009-09-30 21:22:07 Main show starts at 10:30. We will be home late. You doing ok? Jaal raking good care of you?
198 OUT 2009-09-30 21:22:22 And hoeing you?
199 IN 2009-09-30 21:22:58 Lol we are good!
My texting often had errors, which we would laugh about afterwards. Jaal and Lev were getting along pretty well, and they never minded if we went out without them. We didn't do it very often, but when we did there was never a problem.

214 OUT 2009-10-02 07:39:13 The ides of March (Latin: Idus Martias) is the name of March 15 in the Roman calendar. The term ides was used for the 15th day of the months of March, May, July, and October.[1] The Ides of March was a festive day dedicated to the god Mars and a military parade was usually held. In modern times, the term Ides of March is best known as the date that Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44 BC. In William Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar, p

Every day of his freshman year, Lev and I would get up together and have breakfast before going to school. It used to be a whole family thing, but this last year, with Jaal doing Running Start, it became special time together for Lev and I. We joined the local gym, and left early so we could exercise and shower at the gym. Before leaving, we made lunches and ate breakfast. In March I started getting migraines from someone's perfume in the dressing room, so we had to stop our gym ritual. For most of the year, Lev was very eager to get to school early, at 7:30 when the busses arrived. He wanted to meet Melissa and his other friends and have twenty minutes to hang out before school started. I would often make him 5 minutes late, and so we had a deal that if we were on time, we got to listen to my music (news radio) and if we were even one minute late in leaving the house or gym, it was his music. I listened to a lot of Disturbed and Metallica this last year.
One morning, we were talking about the Ides of March, and neither of us really knew what it was, so after dropping him off, I looked it up and texted him the answer.

233 OUT 2009-10-10 20:16:30 Did u get in okay

263 OUT 2009-10-19 14:09:57 How are you doing
264 IN 2009-10-19 14:20:44 Better!
265 OUT 2009-10-19 14:41:02 Good.
266 OUT 2009-10-19 14:41:25 You should call annie and tell her that you will be in tomowwow
267 IN 2009-10-19 14:41:55 Really?
268 OUT 2009-10-19 14:42:30 Yes they are worried you won't make it to rhenpresentation
269 IN 2009-10-19 14:43:35 Ill email!
Lev had a bit of a cold and sore throat. He and a few friends from school had to make a little play or skit out of a legend. They chose to do a video. Then, one student from their group moved away and another was sick. It was due in a couple days, so on Sunday evening Lev and I headed out to Annie's house in Concrete. I was the videographer, and Annie's mom helped with some parts of the play where we needed more people. It is one of the last video footage I have of Lev. He plays a "Tricky Tailor" that's not so tricky after all. I watched it a few weeks ago, and cried and cried. He seems so alive in the video it's hard to believe he's not. We miss him so. I wish this made him come back.
274 OUT 2009-10-20 16:29:42 How did your project go

275 OUT 2009-10-21 19:01:04 I'm going to a mtg at the high school
276 IN 2009-10-21 19:01:39 Don't come to the gym!

277 OUT 2009-10-21 19:24:52 Jaal abandoned you. I am here at the exit to take you home.
Lev was in a little dance thing at school and he didn't want us to see.

288 OUT 2009-10-23 21:41:31 when r u coming home
289 OUT 2009-10-23 21:41:36 R u with jaal
290 IN 2009-10-23 21:42:16 Im getting a ride from melissas mom!
291 OUT 2009-10-23 21:42:33 Now?
292 OUT 2009-10-23 21:48:29 When r u coming back? We r going in the hot tub.

324 OUT 2009-11-06 18:27:21 How is it going
325 OUT 2009-11-06 19:12:58 **Why do respond to jaal and not me
326 OUT 2009-11-06 19:13:38 Text us when you leave to go to fugitive
327 IN 2009-11-06 19:13:40 Because he is interesting!
328 IN 2009-11-06 19:25:22 Ok
329 OUT 2009-11-06 22:04:41 Well?

331 OUT 2009-11-07 09:27:26 I'm in room 120
332 OUT 2009-11-07 10:48:04 104
334 IN 2009-11-07 12:04:53 Where are you?
335 OUT 2009-11-07 12:20:01 Library. Going to leachers lounge
336 IN 2009-11-07 12:21:23 Im leaving! Bye mom!
337 OUT 2009-11-07 12:26:53 Bye
Lev was in debate, and I think this was a day that I helped judge debate. He liked to be on a team, and argue a point and he was pretty good at that. He also got to dress up, and this was when he first began to like wearing a suit and tie.

339 IN 2009-11-10 17:15:45 What's for dinner?
340 OUT 2009-11-10 18:18:28 Burritos. Be home soon
341 IN 2009-11-10 18:19:01 Ok.

350 IN 2009-11-12 09:46:35 Leadership opportunity: bring 50 cans of food to welding for 25 leadership points.
351 OUT 2009-11-12 09:52:05 Ok

353 IN 2009-11-12 21:21:34 Can i buy a videogame for pc? They do not have it for xbox and it is on a special deal right now.
Lev loved buying new games for the computer or xbox. He got bored with them soon after purchasing, but he always wanted to spend his allowance and gift money on games.

355 OUT 2009-11-13 20:54:11 Text us when you are leaving
356 OUT 2009-11-13 20:54:22 How'd it go
360 OUT 2009-11-13 23:33:15 Where r u
361 IN 2009-11-13 23:34:04 Ill be there in roughly 15 mins.
362 OUT 2009-11-13 23:34:19 K
363 IN 2009-11-13 23:35:45 Maybe more.
364 OUT 2009-11-13 23:39:45 Where are you right now? Hwy exit?
365 IN 2009-11-13 23:40:19 Just past burlington.
366 OUT 2009-11-13 23:45:30 U on cook yet?
367 IN 2009-11-13 23:46:17 We on highway 20
368 IN 2009-11-13 23:51:16 Were here!
369 OUT 2009-11-13 23:51:35 Jaal left already.
370 OUT 2009-11-13 23:51:46 Which parking lot
371 IN 2009-11-13 23:52:36 Doesnt matter.
Lev went to a debate, and was arranging pick up. He enjoyed hanging out on the bus with the older students, some friends of Jaal's, and a few of his own friends.

390 OUT 2009-11-21 21:29:57 How r things going
397 OUT 2009-11-22 00:32:57 Everything ok
398 IN 2009-11-22 01:06:53 It is all good.
399 OUT 2009-11-22 01:41:53 Good night. Go to bed.

426 OUT 2009-12-01 22:00:01 Do you want your allowance in cash or transfer
427 IN 2009-12-01 22:00:37 Cash plz.

523 OUT 2009-12-18 22:47:35 We will be home about 10/30

541 OUT 2010-01-07 16:09:14 Hi. I am leaving Seattle now.

593 OUT 2010-01-19 14:42:42 You have a doctors appointment at 4:30. Call me after school. **I hope you aren't reading this in class.
597 IN 2010-01-19 17:15:40 Running late. Pick me up? At high school.
598 OUT 2010-01-19 17:15:57 Ok

602 OUT 2010-01-22 08:31:43 Go check on debate
603 IN 2010-01-22 08:32:23 I did. Nothing tonight. Next one on feb. 6

654 IN 2010-02-05 17:15:07 Need to be there at around seven.
660 OUT 2010-02-05 23:21:55 I'm getting really tired.
661 IN 2010-02-05 23:22:44 Ill walk home wit buddys.
662 OUT 2010-02-05 23:23:00 Is that safe
663 OUT 2010-02-05 23:23:09 Is that what they are doing
664 IN 2010-02-05 23:23:30 Yah.
665 OUT 2010-02-05 23:23:45 I could pick you all up soon
666 OUT 2010-02-05 23:27:57 Call me if you need a ride
667 OUT 2010-02-05 23:29:28 Be in by 12:00. Come wake me up when u get home if you walk.
668 OUT 2010-02-05 23:47:33 You need to confirm the plan.
669 IN 2010-02-05 23:48:00 I did.
670 OUT 2010-02-05 23:48:46 Ok. Call is you need anything or just let me know when you get in.
671 OUT 2010-02-05 23:49:01 Do you have a key or should I leave the door unlocked
672 IN 2010-02-05 23:49:15 K
673 IN 2010-02-05 23:51:46 Leave the door open.
674 OUT 2010-02-05 23:57:04 K

691 OUT 2010-02-07 12:11:37 Sup
692 IN 2010-02-07 12:34:56 Sup.

717 OUT 2010-02-14 22:57:54 We are here.

753 OUT 2010-02-19 22:43:20 Did you feed snowy?

772 OUT 2010-02-20 19:12:05 Hi

816 OUT 2010-02-27 22:02:40 How goes it
818 IN 2010-02-27 22:03:17 There are like 10 people.
819 OUT 2010-02-27 22:05:15 All good?
821 IN 2010-02-27 22:05:39 Yep.
822 OUT 2010-02-27 22:05:56 Excellent. Good job.
Lev was "chaperoning" Jaal's birthday party.

843 OUT 2010-03-03 18:45:55 Need help at science fair tomorrow night. Take you to Hals for lunch after conference.
845 IN 2010-03-03 18:46:35 I get out at 10:30
847 OUT 2010-03-03 18:47:51 What r u going to do in between
848 IN 2010-03-03 18:48:25 Idk.

904 OUT 2010-03-08 21:18:27 Come practice ukelele and bass

937 IN 2010-03-17 15:37:06 Can you bring some food to the tennis courts?
938 OUT 2010-03-17 16:35:43 At 5?
939 IN 2010-03-17 16:39:15 Now. Please.
940 OUT 2010-03-17 16:39:41 I can't get you yet. Let's go out to dinner at 5
941 OUT 2010-03-17 16:40:04 You can always cone here and get a snack
942 IN 2010-03-17 16:40:30 Fine. Deal. Maybe a little after 5
943 OUT 2010-03-17 16:58:25 Now?
944 IN 2010-03-17 17:01:44 15 mins.
945 IN 2010-03-17 17:20:12 Where are you?
946 OUT 2010-03-17 17:20:45 Ready?
947 IN 2010-03-17 17:21:06 Yep.
948 OUT 2010-03-17 17:21:27 Where r u
949 IN 2010-03-17 17:21:49 Tennis courts.
Lev liked to go and hang out and watch Melissa play tennis.

950 OUT 2010-03-18 09:45:31 Remember to hand in the ethnicity survey.
951 IN 2010-03-18 09:46:04 What?
952 IN 2010-03-18 09:51:04 I feel sick, and like shit.
954 OUT 2010-03-18 11:33:02 If you actually get sick and go to the nurse have them call me at school.
956 IN 2010-03-18 11:33:58 K. Think ill stay. Have presentation in english.
960 IN 2010-03-18 13:40:29 Pick me up at 2:35? From school? I feel like shit. Can't walk home.
962 OUT 2010-03-18 14:17:58 Ok. Walk toward mp.
965 OUT 2010-03-18 16:02:29 R u feeling okay ?
966 IN 2010-03-18 16:02:50 Better.
Lev had the beginning of a cold, but was better the next day.

1014 IN 2010-03-22 13:46:13 Can you pick me up from school?
1015 OUT 2010-03-22 15:38:56 sorry. I was working.
1016 IN 2010-03-22 15:39:47 How about now? Im at central tennis courts.
1018 OUT 2010-03-22 15:40:52 At 4;10
1019 IN 2010-03-22 15:42:14 Deal!
1022 OUT 2010-03-22 16:14:55 I am running late.

1111 OUT 2010-03-30 12:53:54 12405056518
Lev went to his Uncle Ben's house for spring break since Rebecca had knee surgery and was not much fun.

1150 OUT 2010-04-06 14:25:37 Tony willbe in town at 2:30
1151 IN 2010-04-06 14:26:28 I will be at tennis match.
1152 OUT 2010-04-06 14:26:42 It will be cancelled
1153 IN 2010-04-06 14:27:30 You sure.
1154 OUT 2010-04-06 14:27:52 No. But you can't play in rain
1155 IN 2010-04-06 14:28:32 It cancelled.
1156 OUT 2010-04-06 14:28:50 Want a ride
1157 IN 2010-04-06 14:29:41 Sure.

1182 OUT 2010-04-08 15:28:28 Last chance for a ride. You will need to walk.
1183 IN 2010-04-08 15:28:57 Kk

1207 IN 2010-04-11 15:20:25 Can you pick me up from central?
1208 OUT 2010-04-11 15:21:23 Jaal Judy left and I haven't tried driving yet. I could try driving if needed.
1209 IN 2010-04-11 15:22:29 Who is judy?
1210 OUT 2010-04-11 15:23:01 It was the word just but the iPhone made it judy
1211 IN 2010-04-11 15:24:06 Can you pick me up from central?
1212 OUT 2010-04-11 15:24:52 Why can't you walk?
1213 IN 2010-04-11 15:25:44 Ill hitch.

1224 IN 2010-04-12 14:31:17 When are you leaving school?
1226 OUT 2010-04-12 15:52:18 Soon. Were are you.

1276 OUT 2010-04-20 14:28:49 I'm still here. Want a ride
1277 IN 2010-04-20 14:29:34 Sure.
1282 OUT 2010-04-20 17:48:22 Tell jaal to check his texts
1283 IN 2010-04-20 17:48:59 Not home. Jaal not home.
1284 OUT 2010-04-20 17:50:32 Oh. Can u call don and tell him we'd be happy to come over for dinner.
1285 IN 2010-04-20 17:52:17 Can you?

1295 IN 2010-04-21 12:44:26 Check your work email.
1296 OUT 2010-04-21 13:41:01 I did not get anything.
1298 IN 2010-04-21 14:29:35 Too late. Ride?
1299 OUT 2010-04-21 14:32:08 Coming
1300 IN 2010-04-22 14:33:24 You give ride me?
1301 OUT 2010-04-22 14:34:05 Ok
1302 IN 2010-04-22 14:34:27 Ty much.

1311 OUT 2010-04-25 17:21:27 Hey. Unless you are walking here we want to get you now.
1312 IN 2010-04-25 17:22:23 Kk. Im at coconut kennies.
1313 OUT 2010-04-25 17:22:41 When should we come?
1314 IN 2010-04-25 17:23:12 In 15-20 mins?
1315 OUT 2010-04-25 17:23:21 K

1319 IN 2010-04-26 12:37:28 Check work email.
1320 OUT 2010-04-26 13:38:47 My email is rgoertzel@Swsd.k12.wa.us**I did not get anything from you. And I can't drive you home this week.

1398 OUT 2010-05-06 16:44:39 I'm at physical therapy until 5:45.
1399 IN 2010-05-06 16:45:07 Ok
1400 OUT 2010-05-06 16:45:38 Jaal can get pizza or order from coconut kennys for me to get
1401 IN 2010-05-06 16:46:05 Text him.
1402 OUT 2010-05-06 17:15:51 He did not answer
1404 OUT 2010-05-06 17:48:50 Heading home now
1405 IN 2010-05-06 17:49:11 Ok.
1406 OUT 2010-05-06 18:20:49 Preheat to 450 now

1429 OUT 2010-05-14 10:09:01 Got a message that you missed second period yesterday.
1430 IN 2010-05-14 10:12:57 The sub must not have marked me down.
1431 OUT 2010-05-14 10:13:18 Go talk to the office at lunch.
1432 IN 2010-05-14 10:14:05 Ok

1446 OUT 2010-05-17 14:25:08 I'm headed home. Want a ride?

1452 OUT 2010-05-20 14:47:04 Where r u
1453 IN 2010-05-20 14:47:44 Hanging out with new friends.
1454 OUT 2010-05-20 14:53:51 Cool. I will be in meetngs and physical therapy until 5:30 and the pick up a pizza. Then I have a parent meeting at 6:30
1455 IN 2010-05-20 14:54:23 Ok. Ty.
1462 OUT 2010-05-20 17:26:57 Where r u now
After Lev broke up with Melissa we encouraged him to find other friends to hang out with. He became friends with Noe again, and some of his friends. They began to hang out after school, on days when Lev wasn't with Calen or on the phone with Zay.

1496 IN 2010-05-22 14:46:00 When are you gonna pick me up?
1497 OUT 2010-05-22 15:14:02 Are you ready now?

1567 IN 2010-05-27 14:25:36 When do we leave for camping?
1568 OUT 2010-05-27 14:25:54 Friday at 4pmish
1569 IN 2010-05-27 14:26:21 Ok.
1571 OUT 2010-05-27 15:00:05 Tonight we go to dinner at 5:30.
- Rebecca's 40th Birthday. We went to Il Granaio, a nice Italian restaurant that we all liked in Mount Vernon. Lev wanted to dress up, since it was a special occasion, and he wore a jacket and a shirt, pants, and shoes of Tony's. We had a really nice meal.

1604 OUT 2010-06-01 18:26:00 Where r u

1631 IN 2010-06-04 07:37:38 Why cant i hang out with my friends?
1632 OUT 2010-06-04 07:50:07 Tony wanted your help. Call him after school to check.

1657 OUT 2010-06-07 16:48:58 Do you need a ride
1658 IN 2010-06-07 16:52:57 When can you give me one.
1659 OUT 2010-06-07 16:53:12 5 mind
1660 IN 2010-06-07 16:55:17 Ok, im at wells fargo.
1662 OUT 2010-06-07 17:05:51 6 more
1663 IN 2010-06-07 17:06:12 Ok
1664 OUT 2010-06-07 17:30:54 Out the door

1667 OUT 2010-06-08 07:46:05 Go to cooking early. Your teacher wants to talk
Lev often had missing assignments and surprises with due dates. In this occasion, though, he was pleased to realize that his teacher actually had lost his assignment, and the TA did mark his grade incorrectly in the grade book. This actually was a cause of much amusement because his grades showed him failing "fondue". It was a cooking class, and his partner got an A on the same fondue. So, we pushed him to talk to the teacher and resolve the failed fondue incident. Lev actually really loved cooking and was very proud of his accomplishments. He started cooking more and home and was especially proud of his scrambled eggs, which were the best in the family.

1671 OUT 2010-06-08 16:12:00 I have a meeting until 6:10

1683 IN 2010-06-10 16:03:22 Can you pick me up in town?
1684 OUT 2010-06-10 16:33:01 Yes
1685 IN 2010-06-10 16:33:25 When?
1686 OUT 2010-06-10 16:33:29 Now
1687 IN 2010-06-10 16:33:58 Where?
1688 OUT 2010-06-10 16:34:12 Where**
1689 IN 2010-06-10 16:34:41 Where?
1690 OUT 2010-06-10 16:34:59 Where I drop u off
1691 IN 2010-06-10 16:35:36 Library.
1692 OUT 2010-06-10 16:36:33 Public?

1693 IN 2010-06-11 14:50:25 Can i get a ride after the assembly?

1697 OUT 2010-06-11 20:59:18 Come here
1698 IN 2010-06-11 20:59:50 Adonde?
1699 OUT 2010-06-11 21:00:17 Away team side with staff
Jaal's graduation day. Lev sat with his friends during the ceremony.

1716 IN 2010-06-15 15:17:51 Can you give me a ride home? Otherwise im gonna eat a burger.
(That is my favorite text.)
1720 IN 2010-06-15 15:48:18 Text me when you can give me a ride home?
1721 OUT 2010-06-15 15:49:13 Actually I have interviews until 5:05
1722 IN 2010-06-15 15:49:50 I might be able to get a ride from you then.
1723 OUT 2010-06-15 17:16:34 U still need a ride?
1724 IN 2010-06-15 17:17:08 I walked home!

1725 OUT 2010-06-15 20:20:11 Now we are at macys
1726 IN 2010-06-15 20:20:46 Ok.

1729 OUT 2010-06-16 12:35:26 How was your last day?
1730 IN 2010-06-16 12:36:09 Fine.
1731 OUT 2010-06-16 12:39:13 Did you go to French to get the writing sheets?
Lev wanted to get into French 2 his sophomore year. He was planning on studying during the summer to catch up. On the way to Jasper, we listened to French tapes in the car, practicing the accent and learning how to order food in a restaurant and check into a hotel. He was planning on going to a French camp in the San Juans and was super excited about it. It was medieval themed in addition to morning French classes.
Getting the check returned from the camp was pretty heart wrenching. It still represents the future that he didn't have, so thinking about French is difficult.

1809 OUT 2010-06-21 12:10:24 How r u
1810 OUT 2010-06-21 12:15:29 how r u?
1813 OUT 2010-06-21 21:26:22 Hey. I'm here still.
1815 IN 2010-06-21 21:31:39 Adonde estas?
1816 OUT 2010-06-21 21:32:02 Parked. Are you out
1817 IN 2010-06-21 21:32:47 Yes. Where are you parked?
1818 OUT 2010-06-21 21:33:16 Outside of the theater. Where r u

1819 OUT 2010-06-21 21:34:59 It is not falafel hut. It is falafel of Santa Cruz.
(Jaal was on a trip to California, and I accidentally sent a text to Lev instead of Jaal.)

1888 OUT 2010-07-01 19:47:03 My movie gets out ten minutes after yours.
1889 OUT 2010-07-01 19:51:43 Since my movie gets out ten minutes later just wait in the arcade. I saw get him to the Greek.
1890 IN 2010-07-01 19:52:10 Kk, shhh
Lev celebrated his 15th birthday early, since we were headed on vacation. He went to the movies with some friends after eating pizza at home. He also got birthday presents from Tony early. They bought more boxing gear as Lev was really into boxing and it was something they enjoyed doing together after school.

1902 OUT 2010-07-03 23:14:54 We r ready to get you by 11:30.
1904 IN 2010-07-03 23:15:28 Ok
Lev went to the carnival with friends and we were picking him up. Both Jaal and Lev wanted to hang out around home for the fourth of July weekend to be with friends, go to the carnival, etc. Lev went two nights in a row, once with David and once Tony dropped him off with another friend.

That is the last text. He left his phone at home for our Canada trip. I don't know why it was so important for me to go through and document the texts. I think it's the passage of time. I am having a hard time imagining time passing without Lev being a part of it. The idea of no more texts is just awful and brings the reality home. The texts show the normal daily life of being a parent. They represent nothing special, just normal life going on. The normal life that I miss so much. The end of the texts, the end of a life.

Rebecca

Instead of doing the dishes...

A few months back Lev discovered how much I loved shoulder massages. He was really good at it. (Turns out that I involuntarily close my eyes, so he quickly learned not to do it while I drove!)

One evening it was his turn to do the dishes. He said "If I give you a shoulder massage, will you do the dishes for me?" I thought it was a fair deal. So I did all the dishes while he massaged my shoulders. We both thought it was really funny. He was always happy when I agreed to wacky things like that.

Foot massage

Whenever Jaal was driving, Lev and I would be in the back of the car together. Rebecca gets sick being in the back, so she always rides shotgun. Those times in the back of the car with Lev were nice, he always appreciated it, and we had time to talk and brainstorm and be silly.

Lev and I were sitting in the back of the car together on the trip through Canada. We were both stretching out back there, and I was thinking how much I wanted a foot massage. Suddenly, without any words from me,  Lev says "Hey, want to give each other foot massages?" Turns out he was thinking the same thing! So we sat back there and massaged each other's feet for a while. It is a sweet memory that I will always treasure.

Lev and I used to text each other a lot, and quite often he would randomly just start replying in Spanish. He did it as a joke because he knew that I had absolutely no idea what he was saying. So eventually I just started replying to his Spanish with french or Japanese. It was very funny because we would talk for hours at a time in separate languages, and only after the conversation had ended would we look up what the other person had said and realize that the things we said got progressively more absurd as the conversation went on. One time every single text that he sent me said something to the effect of "ha ha I'm laughing at you for not understanding what I am saying" while little did he know my friend was translating...

One of the most frequent things that Lev and I did on the phone was either make wierd noises when the other picked up, or talk in funny accents. Now this sounds kind of stupid I admit, but we could do this for half an hour or more before we got board with it. I miss these sessions because they were fun and got a little bit of wierdness out of both of us.