A song from Jaal and Tony

Two years today

It's a sad day. Some friends and family are coming over to share memories with us.
Two years today.
Rebecca

First rock show

A while back, Seether was scheduled to play an all-ages show at the Showbox in Seattle. Both kids really liked that band, so I went ahead and got tickets. Lev was 11 years old, and it was going to be his first rock show. He was psyched! Well, at the last minute they moved the show to a *much* smaller venue, El Corazon. This meant it was going to be completely packed, which was definitely not my plan. When we got there we saw it was going to be a little crazy. We found some seats up front, in a semi-protected zone behind the handicapped section. When Seether started everyone went nuts and started jumping around. Lev was having a great time but was also a bit nervous about the chaos, as was I. But I did what I could to shield him and it all worked out fine. Luckily the security guys kept removing folks who were completely out of hand.

The show was really amazing, loud and tons of energy. Afterward Lev was glowing from the experience. I am sure he never forgot it.

One of my last, favorite cellphone photos of Snowy and Lev

I just gave this coat to Goodwill. I miss it.

Lev and Jaal Kayaking with Grandpa Ted

Lev and Grandma Carol

Lev was so gleeful.

Hiking to the snow at Baker Lake

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> I remember this hike, up above Baker Lake. We happened upon snow, and Lev loved scampering on the rocks, off the trail, never caring to arrive at the destination.
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photo of Jaal and Lev snowshoeing at ages 4 and 7

visiting the snow when we lived in Costa Rica

we came back to visit once in the winter while we lived in Costa Rica. The kids loved seeing snow. We borrowed coats from a friend of my mom's. In this photo Lev is wearing mismatched gloves and a girls coat.

siblings in the snow, always a good time

Lev loved the snow, like most kids

Lev's memorial site in Monteverde

In late December, we went up to the CEC and visited Lev's memorial in Monteverde, Costa Rica. Thanks to the many friends and relatives who donated to

the plant a tree program and to the Cloud Forest School memorial; it was a spot that Lev would have appreciated. He was very proud of the trees that he planted near the forest, and loved hiking the trails.

We gathered at the colegio, looked at some photos and talked about Lev's time in Monteverde. Then we walked a muddy 15 minutes up to the Lev's memorial spot with friends, with a small poisonous viper in the trail on our way up. The spot is near the Palacio de los Monos, and has a special fruiting tree planted near the sign. After sharing thoughts, Tony, Jaal and I stayed and had a moment, wishing Lev were really there with us, and spread some of his ashes around the tree. It does feel like a special place, but it definitely makes Lev's being gone more real.

Some part of me was really hoping Lev himself would be here, although I know very well he wouldn't. I just had to come, and go to the school, see his memorial, and connect with friends here who knew and appreciated Lev.

But, it has been hard to see friends for the first time since Lev died. Tears shed, or tears held back, but difficult for sure.

We are reminded of what a great time he had here. He so loved the forest, playing with sticks, climbing trees, chopping things, and walking outside in the dark. He loved bananas, fried plantains, going to the dairy for ice cream, gallo pinto (without much onion), and batidos with milk and fruit. Ages 6-10 just seemed a great time to be here. The world was open to him, he was free to explore and be himself. He was silly and crazy and creative and it worked for him here.

Below are some more pictures from Lev's memorial spot, and a tree that was planted whose fruits will attract monkeys.

Sedro-Woolley High School Lip Dub 2010

I don't really know why, but I was thinking about the Lip Dub freshman year. I kept thinking about Lev insisting upon hiding during his part of the video. I thought you might find it funny.
Look for Lev at 2:22

A memory from Grandma Carol

Thinking of you -- I have the memorial in color I carry with me -- I vision Lev shooting arrows at the banana trees with joy, exploring the woods, riding the horse, and sulking as he liked to do at times.

Ukelele

Lev played bass, but he did not really like it. Then he discovered the ukelele. It was the only instrument he genuinely enjoyed. Something about it captivated him. Makes sense, wacky instrument for a wacky kid.

He was a very fast learner. I would show him a chord once and he had it down. The first song I taught him was "House of the Rising Sun". He played it over and over again. He had a great little voice, always in tune, and he sang loudly as he played. He learned a bunch of songs on his own. My favorite was "Apple Blossom", he sang it so nicely. I think he would have been a great musician.

Milk

Lev loved milk. When we lived in Costa Rica, the dairy was right down the road. We would bring our empty container and they would fill it up with creamy, fresh milk. When we got back to the States the milk was a bit disappointing, thin and bland. Then we discovered whole, non-homegenized milk. Lev liked that better. Then we moved up to raw and grass-fed. Now we were getting somewhere! That was his favorite, it tasted "real". I miss buying him milk.

thoughts of Lev this last weekend...from Cindy

> Dear Tony and Rebecca,

> I wanted to share something with you.
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> ethan and i had our first session with a hypnobirth therapist (who will also be our doula, we decided to have one) on saturday. I don't know if you've heard of them but hypnotherapists are people that help you get into a calm framework about labor and delivery so that you are more in control of the situation and can visualize the next steps of labor so you're not scared and hopefully won't tense up and slow labor down.
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> she was having me do some excercises on visualizing the contractions (or what she called "waves") and she asked me if I had ever swam in the ocean. She wanted me to think about how the waves come and how to anticipate how they grow and get stronger and how you'll either let them pass or go underneath them. I told her until a year and a half ago i had been so incredibly afraid of the ocean that ethan couldn't get me in water that came up past my knees and I NEVER had gone under a wave or swam through one in my entire life. But that our friend's 14-year old son, Lev taught me how to not be afraid of the waves. i told her how he stayed focused for hours on helping me "master" this fear until it literally became fun for me.
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> she was so thrilled that i had an experience to use in my labor that would help me. as happy as she was i couldn't swallow away the lump in my throat that came so quickly thinking about how powerful that time in costa rica really was. I didn't know then that I would pull strength from that time in a moment like we're about to have in bringing this baby into the world. I'm humbled by it in every way.
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> i want you both to know how truly amazing of a young man i think Lev was. i will use that strength i now have while i'm laboring and i will visualize swimming under those waves with each contraction, and ethan will support me by reminding me of when we all did this together in the ocean with Lev... and this baby will come into a world full of a lot of love.
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> ~Cynthia
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Lev and Grady Build a Raft but the water is cold

Every Memorial Day weekend we would camp at Panorama Point, on Baker Lake, with Craig, Sarah, and Grady. We've known Craig and Sarah since before we had kids, but Grady and Lev became friends when we moved up to Sedro-Woolley. Grady lived in Bellingham and they would get together most weekends for the last two years to go "boffing" (fighting with foam swords). On these camping trips Jaal would hang out with the adults and go hiking, kayaking, hang out, or play guitar but Grady and Lev would be off exploring. May of 2010 they spent most of the weekend on a tiny island just off the campsite, building their own fort, kayaking over supplies, making up stories. In this video, which I think is from 2009,  they built a raft (with some help, I believe) and Lev discovered the water was cold when he tried it out. Grady never minded the cold, and he waded in to pull Lev back to shore. This captures the fun they had together.
It seems like with all of Lev's best friends he would do different things. Kalyn was his local buddy, hanging out at school, after school, playing video games, or whatever, staying at each other's houses. Grady was the weekend friend, boffer, sleep overs, eating bagels, video games, movies, and camping. Zay was his buddy for long imaginary games on the phone, almost daily, bonding in a really deep, weird way.  And then of course he had other groups of friends, but those were the three he hung out with most often and I believe the kids most impacted by his being gone.