our very neat house at the Lawton's

living at the Lawton's, our first year in Monteverde

scorpions, mice, coatis, chinches, monkeys and us

Lev and Calynn in 6th grade with Mrs. McCloud

in the forest in Puerto Rico, the boys together on a vine swing

Jaal's best photo

Jaal has become quite a photographer, and on our trip to Canada he took some beautiful photos. In this one, on July 7th, Jaal had asked Lev to go to the edge of the dock, and look at the water. Shortly after the photo, Lev and Tony went for a swim as Jaal and I walked Snowy around the lake.

Lev and his mom at a wedding

This is Tony's favorite photo of Lev and Rebecca, from last May.

6th birthday

Lev's birthday, a few weeks after moving to Costa Rica.

swimming

Although the school was terrible in Puerto Rico, we loved going to the beach every day. Lev had had tubes in his ears the year before, so he needed special ear plugs while swimming. He and Jaal, and Tony and I had many happy hours in the water, snorkeling, playing in the waves, the boys trying to boogie board or surf.

Lev's least favorite picture

Lev hated this picture. He hated that I took it, he hated that he was crying, he hated that learning to ride a bike was hard. He always got mad when he saw it, and for years we had to hide it away. Then, one day we found a picture of Jaal falling while learning to ride a bike. It wasn't a great picture, like this one, but since that moment Lev was fine with this photo.
He is five, in Puerto Rico is this photo.

Memorial Day

For the last three or four years, on Memorial Day weekend, we went camping at Baker Lake, Panorama point campground, right on the water, with Craig, Sarah, and Grady. Building your own raft is always fun. This last May, the weather was cold and wet, and Grady and Lev kayaked to a little island and spent most of their days on their own, on their island, having a great time together.

Sauk Mountain

We hiked to the top of Sauk Mountain, with beautiful wildflower views on the way up. They were proud of themselves when we arrived at the top pretty quickly, and they kept climbing higher to the top of the rocks to get a good view.

5th grade baseball

Lev played baseball in 5th grade in Seattle. It was the first time he played team sports, as we had been living abroad for his other school years. He was not particularly talented, as he was just learning the sport, but he had a great time.

Valentine's Day

February 14, 2010

Tony and I usually celebrate our anniversary on Valentine's Day, since we were together so many years before we were married. It will be our 21st Valentine's Day together, which is more than half of my life.

It reminds me of our last Valentine's Day. Jaal was busy, going out with friends. Lev had been dating Melissa since the previous May, so I asked him what he was doing with her for Valentine's Day. It was his first, and only, real girlfriend, so he was new to the whole thing. I told him that he should get her some chocolates or a little gift and that they should probably get together and do something.

I took him to the store to get something, and he chose a little heart shaped box of chocolates, and a very large bear. He was very proud of himself for his choice. Valentine's Day was on a Sunday. We went on a "double date," of sorts. We picked up Melissa, with the big bear in the back seat with them, and we dropped them off at the movies, while Tony and I went out to dinner. After the movie, we picked them up and drove Melissa home. She seemed happy with her bear, and they both had a nice evening.

They had broken up a couple months before Lev died (yes, it's hard to write that word), but they were still friends and had many friends in common. Melissa's dad told us how glad he was that Lev was her first boyfriend, as he had respected her, encouraged her to set high goals to herself, and had helped her to set the bar high for future relationships. I hope that is true.

I like to think that with his actions he made a difference in the lives of others, even if it was something small, like being nice to someone on Valentine's Day.

Lev was either completely wonderful, or terribly annoying, and I miss them both.

Lev's first day

Lev was born at home, in Aptos, California at around three in the morning. Our midwife was Roxanne, and she looked just like Bonnie Rait. Our good friend Bronwyn was helping out, as she was in training to be a doula. It was a textbook birth. Roxanne got there around midnight.

Grandpa Ted was visiting, and I had started in labor late afternoon. We decided it would be best for Jaal to stay at the hotel a couple miles away with Ted, but at three in the morning Jaal woke up demanding juice. Ted didn't know what to do, the vending machine had no juice, and Ted was rather curious what was going on back at the house, So, he took Jaal back for some juice. As they pulled in, Lev was being born. By the time they got up the stairs to our house, I had stopped screaming, and Lev was born. They came in the bedroom, before Lev was even swaddled. Ted asked if it was a boy or girl, and we hadn't even checked yet. I was so sure it was a girl, it didn't occur to us to check. He was definitely a boy!

Jaal got to cut the umbilical cord, and never showed any jealousy toward Lev. It wasn't until Lev started to crawl and knock over his legos that he began to realize that little brothers can be annoying.

In this photo Lev is about twenty minutes old. He was perfect.

He was a great baby, and would entertain himself with just about anything. He didn't start to get a little difficult until age four, which was a precursor to how he would be as a teenager when once again kids realize that their parents are not all powerful.

In December of 2008 we visited Aptos, and Lev was really proud of the house in which he was born, and proud of being born in California, for some reason.

bedtime lullabys

Tony used to play guitar and sing lullabies to the kids. We sang around the campfire when camping as they got older. Below is one of Lev's favorite. 

Hobo's Lullaby  by Goebel Reeves  Go to sleep you weary hobo Let the towns drift slowly by Can't you hear the steel rail humming That's a hobo's lullaby  Do not think about tomorrow Let tomorrow come and go Tonight you're in a nice warm boxcar Safe from all the wind and snow  I know the police cause you trouble They cause trouble everywhere But when you die and go to heaven You won't find no policemen there  I know your clothes are torn and ragged And your hair is turning grey Lift your head and smile at trouble You'll find happiness some day  So go to sleep you weary hobo Let the towns drift slowly by Don't you feel the steel rail humming That's a hobo's lullaby  ©1961,1962 (Renewed) Fall River Music, Inc. (BMI) All Rights Reserved. 

bow and arrows

Lev loved fighting with sit is, making bows and arrows, and blow darts.
Often the homemade bows and arrows wouldn't work that well, but the fun was on the creation of it, figuring out what rainforest wood was best for the bow.
Lev likes going out and chopping things with a machete, too. Last trip to Costa Rica Lev brought back a machete, and when our weed whacker broke, he tried to trim our grass and blackberries with his machete. It wasn't sharp enough and he was so happy when Jaal used his Dremel to sharpen it for him.
One nice memory was when Jaal and Jordan discovered how to make blow darts in Monteverde. They would fill a jar with beans to hold them while they dried, cut up metal hangers for the darts, and glue paper cones on the end so that when blown through a PVC pipe they would shoot out with great accuracy. Lev didn't show much interest until he saw the final product. All of a sudden, his brother was cool, a genius, the maker of a fabulous tool. I was afraid that someone would lose an eye, as they would fly over twenty meters accurately. They enjoyed many hours making them, and peppering our banana plants with sharp darts, which would pierce the plants quite easily. It was great to see them playing so nicely together, like they would when we went to the beach.

Last year, Jaal and Mark began making the darts again, but now Lev had moved on to a store bough bow and arrow, and last spring, I finally let him buy an airsoft gun. He found it wonderful and fascinating at first, but then, like most things, he lost interest and moved on to something new.

from Uncle Ben

****
Lev's Visit to Maryland in April 2010

Though Lev and I never lived nearby each other, we saw each other at
least once a year, sometimes more. Most recently he had spent (almost)
a week at my house (in Rockville Maryland) in April 2010 -- 3 months
before his death. It was a great visit, with some fascinating
conversations as well as lots of video games, frisbee, hiking,
rock-climbing and so forth.

All 3 of my kids really enjoyed the visit, but Lev and my daughter
Scheherazade (now 13) have long been [damn, I guess I should say
"were"...] particularly close and always enjoy [enjoyed...] each
others company especially.  Although when  my sons and I wrestled with
Lev, Scheherazade refused to participate.  She loved Lev but didn't
trust him not to squash her !!!

On a visit to the Cacoctin Mountains, Lev was particularly impressed
with my rock-clambering capability -- and I semi-tried (but failed) to
convince him to do some dangerous things, like a leap over a deep 3
foot crevasse... and a difficult climb down another crevasse, which
involved wedging your body between the two sides and lowering yourself
bit by bit for 15 feet or so.  But he seemed to vicariously enjoy my
reckless risking of my own life, though he was more conservative with
his own safety!!!

I was struck by how fast he was growing up all of a sudden. Lev had
always been a smart and inquisitive kid, but on this visit he was more
interested to carry out lengthy intellectual chats -- about DNA, time
travel, AI and so forth. He also showed a deep knowledge of history
and politics, with an insight into Western history complementing my
own sons' recent study of Japanese and Mongolian history. We even
discussed the possibility of immortality via technological means, and
he was all in favor.

Lev was a devout heavy metal head, and particularly a devotee of
Metallica.  I like metal OK, but on a long car drive I tried to
convert him to jazz fusion (played on the car stereo) ... and I failed
-- though he admitted that some of it sounded a bit like music.

One thing that strikes me looking back on that visit are the
unfinished conversations.  As we chatted about AI and pharmacological
immortality and eugenics and unified physics and all sort of stuff,
lots and lots of conversational threads were left dangling, which I
figured would get picked up next time we saw each other.   I'm a big
fan of ongoing multi-year conversations, and seeing how peoples' views
on issues change as they learn and evolve.

New Years Eve, Costa Rica 2009

This photo was taken on New Year's Eve in Costa Rica in 2009. My band was playing at a bar down there. They are pretty lax about the drinking age, and Lev was allowed to hang out and watch the music. We decided he could have beer since it was a special night, and he was super-excited about that. But after downing a can of Pilsen, he disappointedly decided it was "gross". We all had a great time that night.

snow

Lev, like most kids, loved the snow. Tons of good memories, from sledding, snow shoeing, cross country skiing, snowboarding, and just playing around. I'm glad we haven't had any real snow this year.

Hats - from Grandpa Ted

Last weekend I went to a bar mitzvah for the son of a friend. At the party afterward, all the young people wore hats that were distributed as party favors. I was struck with the memory of Lev and how he looked in the hats he loved to wear. He was just the right size to wear his dad's hats, and also liked to wear a dark suit or sports coat on occasion, making him look older. The hats he wore weren't party favors or baseball caps, at least not the ones I remembered. They were traditional men's dress hats. He was very expressive, and I could see him with a career or hobby as a stand-up comedian. Then he would change to athletic garb and look like a boy again.

In this picture, we were out to dinner at a fancy restaurant and Lev is wearing a jacket he got for Halloween the year before. He enjoyed dressing up, and that night at dinner he was practicing moving his eyebrows independently up and down. You can tell in the photo that one is up and the other is down. It looked quite impressive. Jaal can wiggle his ears, like Ted, but Lev is the only one who had such eyebrow control.